We breakfasted “at home” at Helen’s. Bernadette’s friend Esthel‘s daughter got back to us and said she had indeed been successful in moving her Mom back into the Chicago area (long story I won’t go into) and she was available for a visit today. Helen very generously loaned us her car to make the trip to the suburb where Esthel lives. I think of myself as a good driver, but unfamiliar freeways and Chicago drivers kind of had me nervous. Like a good trained musician, I threw away all other thoughts and just focused on the task at hand. Bernadette was clutching the car door handle, white knuckled, the whole way. (And you know it takes a lot to make B’s knuckles white.) When we got there, we sat for a moment in the parking lot just to breathe.
We went into the facility and the nice lady at the front desk let us into the memory care unit. We knocked on door seven but another attendant right there saw us and said, “are you looking for Esthel? She’s over here in this sitting area.” We went to sit next to her. She looked so frail and afraid, curled up in the chair. Bernadette tried to talk to her, but she did not remember who she was or recognize her. She’s angry and confused and thinks the whole world is trying to hurt her. It was heartbreaking. But at least Bernadette got the opportunity to give her a light kiss on the top of her head and to say the three most important words in the English language, “I love you.” They have been friends since law school.
Esthel had been moved around a lot in the past few weeks. It’s no wonder she was feeling confused and frightened. Different facilities, constantly new faces, in and out of the hospital, arrived here just last night, and the day staff wasn’t quite sure what her status was.
We were there at a critical time and were able to connect Estel’s daughter with the staff via phone so they could at least understand what she needed. Seems crazy that there wasn’t better paperwork or documentation or something transferred along with her. We stayed for a little while and Bernadette tried to talk to Esthel again. Then we went back out to the car and just sat for a few minutes to decompress and wipe our tears.
We had been hoping to see another friend, Tonya, on our way back from visiting Esthel. Tonya texted and said her doctor appointment had been pushed back two hours and she wasn’t feeling too well anyway. So we said OK, sorry we missed you, and just headed back to Helen‘s.
The rest of the afternoon and evening was just what we needed: quiet and stress-free and “at home” with Helen. She made a yummy veggie pasta sauce and gluten-free pasta for dinner.
Chicago, Saturday, March 2, 2024
We slept in a little and then spent the rest of the day with Helen. She showed us around her building. It is an incredible warren of hallways and stairways and elevators. I especially enjoyed the back hallways and the zillion different elevators in different sections of the building. Kind of like a fun house. Reminded me of a dream I had as a kid. Secret places between the walls where a whole different family was living.
She took us up to the rooftop where there is a nice patio area, complete with community grill and great views of the city. Outside the ground floor, there is also a peaceful grassy courtyard area for sitting on warmer days.
In the afternoon we went for a walk around North Pond, right across the street from Helen’s building. There is a lovely park and natural area. There has been an owl hanging out in a tree there and we saw people with their cameras all pointed up at one of the branches. I took a couple of pictures, but they’re pretty blurry and hard to see the owl. It’s the kind of shot that really needs a telephoto lens.
Helen‘s daughter Natalia joined us for dinner. Natalia recently completed her four-year commitment to the Army (in Military Intelligence) and is now working on an MBA degree which will allow her to work for a military contractor in Washington, DC. She’ll be able to call her former bosses by their first names and tell them what to do. She can’t wait.
Helen drove us to an Indian restaurant and we had a delicious meal: chana masala (one of my favorites), and a saag (spinach) dish with chickpeas, potatoes and mushrooms.
Chicago, Sunday, March 3, 2024
We went to the Frida Room on Clark Street, out the back door of Helen’s building and right next-door. Delicious Mexican breakfast food. Win and Neal joined us there. We introduced them to Helen and had a lovely time talking and eating. Then we all went back up to Helen’s apartment and she showed us around the building a bit. We had another tour of the back hallways and stairways.
Helen’s husband, Terry, had come home from a trip to Vermont early that morning and by the time we got back from breakfast, he was up and joined us for another walk around the pond. Then it was time to take us to the train station. Terry drove and dropped us off. We had our last hugs and farewells and dragged our luggage inside.
We checked the three pieces we didn’t need on the train and found the lounge and relaxed. When they called our train, we gathered our stuff and followed the crowd out the door and down the busy hallway.
Somehow, we got into a bottleneck in the crowd and lost the group we were supposed to be with. There was total chaos there; not clear at all where we were supposed to go. It was apparently a mosh-pit of coach passengers. We kept asking and being directed and had to walk way down the platform (they couldn’t have stopped the train by the gate??) but finally found our correct car, no thanks to any Amtrak staff. We found our room and plunked down and sighed. The ride home now would be easy.
We thought.
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Adrian Dee, flutist, composer 